Parental Expectations Pillows

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

The Baby Walker

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

Junior Doctor.

'Sure, have some wool to keep your eggs nice and warm...'

'Dad, did the stork bring me or did you get me in fantasy draft?'

Maternity ward on the farm.

A mother hen pushing her baby eggs in a egg carton pram.

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

"But you must continue as a lab rat! Can't you see we have three mouths to feed?"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'Well, what did you expect?'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'I wish you hadn't shown Daddy the lovely Mother's day present you bought me. I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet!'

THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT 'Boy, I'll bet their parents were honked off!'

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"And now we just relax, settle down, and smother them until they crack."

'Standard release form - in case anything goes wrong during the delivery.'

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'Doug and I have agreed to stay together until the children and his hedge fund are grown.'

"Day, will you take me potty?"

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Male and Female doors to IVF clinic