Parental Expectation Analyst Pillows

'My parents want me to go to a Poison Ivy School.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

'I'm not so sure I'm a problem child. Maybe you're a problem parent.'

Psychiatry. My dad doesn't appreciate how hard it is to follow in his footsteps

'Well, what did you expect?'

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

Yummy Mummy.

'It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it'll make enough money for a good retirement home for us!'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

Baby boomerang.

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'

"Well, I'm not a doctor but..."

"They shouldn't show all this sex on TV. Kids will learn from it. "

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

Nobody keeps his personal life to himself anymore phobia. 'Seems like everone's coming out of the closet!'

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

"Boy or a girl, it doesn't matter. As long as it's a whiz kid."

'Son, I want you to be successful and able to survive in this tough world. That's why I'm feeding you with raw meat.'

"That's the trouble when you visit your parents - no matter how old you are they end up treating you like a child again."

"But, sweetheart, why do you have to marry a doctor? Why can't you marry a fireman?"

"Exceeding customers expectations is made easier when they, generally speaking, expect us to be rubbish!"

The new Teen Drive Bungee: Keeps your teen within a three-mile radius of home!

My mother signed my progress report, but the signature got smudged by her tears.

I'm going upstairs! Me too. I hate mom's book group. Talk about annoying chat rooms!

"Listen, are you absolutely sure you want to have kids?"

"You're the reason nations fail."

"Leading report card indicators predict no allowance from my dad this week!"

"Please don't lecture the boy again about throwing the paper on the front steps."