Parental Relationship Analyst Pillows

Baby boomerang.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Awkward First Dates

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Relationships.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I've had you appraised."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

A boy and his spin patrol.

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"I need a more interactive you."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"Don't even think about it."