Expectations Pillows

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Well, what did you expect?'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Now at this point reality intruded."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"It looked better on pinterest."

"It looked different on the internet."

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

The Next Big Thing/ The Next Best Thing.

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

"Well, I'm not a doctor but..."

'No...it's not what I was expecting either.'

"I got what I wanted, but it wasn't what I expected."

"I'm a wunderkind slash flop."

"And do you both agree to lower your expectations so this marriage will at least have a fighting chance?"

"Your great Abuelita Zoraida is coming for a visit! Do you know what that means?"

Couples compare their ambitions for their future children.

Yes we know what it will be. A huge drain on our finances.

"A teddy bear? You need better toys! Or the other kids won't like you!"

'Do you remember Paul Waterson? He was in your class at school.' - 'Vaguely, yes.' - 'He got married last year and they had a beautiful baby girl last week. His parents are just thrilled!' - 'Oh, right.' - 'You're holding up the show. Capiche?' - 'Eh?'