Parental Disapproval Enthusiast Pillows

'Sure he's cute, smart and athletic. But my parents would approve of him and that wouldn't work for me.'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

Baby, baby maker

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

'Oh, don't even think about living life vicariously through me!'

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

Doctor delivers sonogram results, which include the baby's sex, his claustrophobia, his taste for trashy women...'

'We're totally against smacking but not adverse to 'moderate punishment.''

"Is your dad in a good mood? We're heading into uncharted territory."

"I take my babysitting job very seriously."

'My labor with Jenna was a snap...'

"Any chance I could put myself up for adoption?"

Next On The Agenda

'You can go play at Kevin's house if it's all right with your attorney.'

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

'Sounds like all the kids are already here for the labor day picnic... I think I'll wait in the car.'

"Their names are Sportster and Softail. My husband named them."