Parental Appreciation Club Pillows

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

That's my daughter, Alayna

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

Newborn Chaos

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

"...My daughter, the model..."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

Congratulations!

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'We had to toddler proof the tree this year.'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'Oh no, how do I tell them that I don't like Angel Food cake?'

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"Another round of iced teas, and would you please find a placemat that will actually challenge our gifted son."

'True happiness!'

"He did well in his exams. He got an A level in creative knitting."

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

"Don't sweat it. That's Little League—your dad comes, you choke."

"His first fax."

Poo Bags

Right before baby's first text.

"Joey is very good at mental arithmetic: I call him little pocket calculator..."