Parental Appreciation Club Pillows

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

Newborn Chaos

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Congratulations!

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

'Oh no, how do I tell them that I don't like Angel Food cake?'

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"Another round of iced teas, and would you please find a placemat that will actually challenge our gifted son."

'True happiness!'

"He did well in his exams. He got an A level in creative knitting."

"His first fax."

Poo Bags

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

"Don't sweat it. That's Little League—your dad comes, you choke."

Right before baby's first text.

"Joey is very good at mental arithmetic: I call him little pocket calculator..."

Two parents look at their new baby who arrived in a boxed with a destroyed instruction manual.