Parent Club Member Pillows

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

That's my daughter, Alayna

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

Newborn Chaos

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Congratulations!

"Your dad sure worries a lot."

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'We had to toddler proof the tree this year.'

We couldn't convince the football players to give up their bottled water. Hmpf. As eco club president

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"Another round of iced teas, and would you please find a placemat that will actually challenge our gifted son."

"I sometimes think my mom hovers too much."

Poo Bags

"His first fax."

"He did well in his exams. He got an A level in creative knitting."

'True happiness!'

Keep away from our Doreen.

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

Zack and Max were injured in scrimmage today. Tough break. Not for me. Teddy! That's not good sportsmanship. It's nothing personal. More injuries and I'll be put in the game! Ahh! A strategic player.

"Don't sweat it. That's Little League—your dad comes, you choke."

Right before baby's first text.

"Joey is very good at mental arithmetic: I call him little pocket calculator..."

Two parents look at their new baby who arrived in a boxed with a destroyed instruction manual.

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

My mother wants to speack to you about being more attentive to the behavior of students on the bus.