New Parent Club Member Pillows

Congratulations!

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Newborn Chaos

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

Maternity Arrivals

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Who Needs a Power Shower,

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"Another round of iced teas, and would you please find a placemat that will actually challenge our gifted son."

"His first fax."

'True happiness!'

"He did well in his exams. He got an A level in creative knitting."

"Now that I have a child, I understand the love you have for your dog."

Drink?

Poo Bags

'She passed potty training!'

Right before baby's first text.

"Joey is very good at mental arithmetic: I call him little pocket calculator..."

Two parents look at their new baby who arrived in a boxed with a destroyed instruction manual.

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

"Another set back for the manufacturing sector. There's no way I'll make this delivery date."

"Having a new baby can make you feel a bit tired, sometimes you forget things."