Parent Of A Teenage Tornado Gifts

"I seized yesterday."

Rage.

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

The swamp of adolescence

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

The surrendered mom

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

Kid's towel.

"The whole world doesn't revolve around candy, you know."

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

"Megan is at that age where she's embarrassed to be seen shopping with her mother."

I can't put my hoof on it...but there is something different about this place!

'I had no idea a puppy could be so destructive.'

"Dad, let me explain it in a way that you can understand: Followers and Likes on my social media are like stocks on my emotional Wall Street."

The Texter

'In order to cut down disruption in my class I've asked my students not to wear any gang, club, team, or group colours, insignias, patches, etc.'

"Can I can go to a party?"

'Are you going to be long in there? ...And have you seen my electric guitar?'

"It's about time we had a little talk about your attitude, young man!"

Assisted living on West 84th Street

Fortunately for Dorothy, each tornado season brought a veritable windfall of shiny new footwear.

'The tornado did no damage downtown, but 5 storm chasers collided out on Route 54.'

"I've hidden all the emergency chocolate in the fruit bowl, it'll be quite safe there."