Parent Of A Clumsy Child Gifts

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'Are we there yet?'

Baby Hairstyles.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Jack in the box on strike.

"Where's your nose?"

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Homeschooling

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'Monster mobiles.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Jim was a model Dad".

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

Kid drops his 13 flavor ice cream cone

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"I'll explain later."