Parent Discussion Enthusiast Pillows

"Maybe you should phone your Mother, and ask her if you can watch it."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'The child is very illogical'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Suffering from Cooties?

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

Growth Charts

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Early childhood development

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Crying baby

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

"My first Father's day!"

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Ouch. . . Aaaargh!!. . . Stop it!. . . "

Husband and Child in Pram

Parenting magazines.

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Use your indoor voice!"

"All right. Time to grow up."