Family Discussion Lovers Pillows

"When does everything stop being our fault?"

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Use your inside scream."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

'Go forth and multiply!'

"Who had pink eyes, long ears, a cute little cotton tail and brings baskets of eggs on Easter morning?"

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

Mommy and daddy Are Always Right!

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"Does it come with instructions?"

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

"Teddy wants a glass of water."

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

"Daddy, which group of economists did you support during the recession?"

"You've been avoiding me." "Have not, Uncle Mort." "For weeks, you've been dashing out of rooms as soon as I entered." "Coincidence." "What about when I knocked on your door yesterday and you jumped out the back window?" "Look, Uncle Mort, I just didn't want to go through what I went through in 1994." "I was just going to say one thing about the 30th anniversary of the OJ Simpson 'trial of the century!'" "You would think the 'trial of the century' would've been the Nuremberg trials!"

Teddy, do you know why I'm here? Want to, umm, ask me anything? So! That wraps it up! How did your "birds and bees" talk go? I answered all his questions.

"The money I make working pays for a better life for my child."

"Jack and Nina's concern grew when their son, James, confided in them that his imaginary friend was, in fact, a short-tempered snapping turtle."

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

"Maybe you should phone your Mother, and ask her if you can watch it."

You Must Be This Tall - To Have An Opinion

'What kinda nuts are we, Dad, rightwing or left?'

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

It's time again for my 'State-of-the-family' address.