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'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

'Our school cuts are getting serious.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

Warring parents

Mom's The Boss

Violence against children.

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

'You look down, son. You wanna rock about it?'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'I'm afraid the legislation only covers one partner.'

A Victorian park.

"This may surprise you, Worthington, but I'm a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family."

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

'It's making me happy.'

Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

"When my parent were kids, they made up alibis. I just carry disclaimers."

'Do you think my husband would have better than a 50-50 chance if you didn't wear your mask up so high?'

'My dad is really strong and he also has extra-cool fine motor skills: He can use tools!'

Kids and the economy

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

'I've had it up to here with your demonization of the culture of childhood.'

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'