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Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

The modern generation!

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Toilet Training

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'