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'Your father kicked in the screen and threw the set out the window. He feels violence on TV is a bad influence.'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

Warring parents

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

Son, it's time you grew some legs and moved out.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Mom's The Boss

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

"Sorry, son. . . You're not getting the keys to the car until you show me you're mature enough to bring it back completely totaled."

A Victorian park.

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

'It's making me happy.'

"When my parent were kids, they made up alibis. I just carry disclaimers."

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'

"My Mom thinks I should clean my room. I'd like a second opinion."

'Careful Darling, my mum always said 'beware of strangers bearing gifts'...'