Parascientist Gifts

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"There's more than one way to get your message across, but violence isn't one..."

Asteroid Bennu

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

'The E.S.P. phone: "Hi! I'm on the train."

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

" - Well. . . at least we found the bigfoot. . ."

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

Early Anaesthesia

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

Baking the Earth

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Center for the study of Astral Projection: Enter before knocking.

"Any word yet on FDA approval?"

"Hey - no hexes on my experiment."

'Which one do you want to read?'

"Jensen, look life on Venus!"

Why we only see one side of the moon

'I prefer it this way.'

"Every day in every way I'm getting gullibler and gullibler."

"The universe is expanding faster than ever, and i don't even feel a breeze."

'I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet!?' (mobile phone-shaped aliens).

'I wouldn't worry about your little Rudolph being different: He has a bright future ahead of him...'