Paraphernalia Collector Gifts

"We collect cowboy-and-Indian paraphernalia. How much would you take for your pickup?"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

Jack in the box on strike.

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Posh Easter Egg

Fridge Magnets/Military Medals

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

A Fork-lift.

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

People, we need to push the envelope, and the paper, pens and all the other stationery.

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

Paper Work

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Replica Football Merchandise

"The table of stationers would like to send you their compliment slips."

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

I love Fountain Pens

"Timmy discovers the Island of Lost Logos."