Paranormal Pundit Gifts

'You're doing the crop circles anyway. We just want to pay you to do them with our corporate logo.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'It's the end of an aura!'

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"Fact amnesty"

'Why is it always about me?'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

Voice of the GOP

'That line means good managerial skills!'

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'Relax, we've only been for a pint.'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

The Hypochondria Times.

"Objection, your Honor! This is clearly an immaterial witness!"

"These are my 'Nebraska attack poodles'. They don't bark, they don't bite, they just do exactly what they're told. . ."

"The truth? With all the fake news and alternative facts now, we're all just guessing."

'Oh, oh - it's tomorrow.'

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'