Paranormal Pundit Gifts

'You're doing the crop circles anyway. We just want to pay you to do them with our corporate logo.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'It's the end of an aura!'

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Fact amnesty"

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Seven

'Why is it always about me?'

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

'That line means good managerial skills!'

Voice of the GOP

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

New Dross, Same as the Old Dross

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

The Hypochondria Times.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

'Relax, we've only been for a pint.'

'Oh, oh - it's tomorrow.'

"Objection, your Honor! This is clearly an immaterial witness!"

How I Learned to Love the Drone Bomb

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."