Paranormal Gifts

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

"Give me a minute, this is my first time haunting a walk-up."

"Yes, that's very clever Julie. But can we stick to the basics?"

'The Existential Files.'

"I feel invisible."

'That's your Uncle Joe. He's the black sheet of the family.'

"Nessie's been abducted by aliens."

World ends tomorrow.

Center for the study of Astral Projection: Enter before knocking.

Woman Begins To Sweep Away Her Shadow

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Antoinne the Psychic.

'I see live people.'

Ghostbusters trapping superhero

"Damn, of all the times to have an out of body experience."

True Confessions

'Ray, I think you may have a winning lottery ticket in the pants you were buried in...'

Ouija board speaks recorded options

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Most of these sins were committed before surveillance cameras, smartphones, or videotape, but you left a paper trail."

'Truce?'

"Can you imagine how being the only one here makes me feel?"

"Well at least nobody notices we don't go out much anymore."

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

Channelling on the Cheap

Quantum Psychic

Boo'ed on stage.

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"Leave this house and never return! It's a seller's market!"

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'