Paranoid Poultry Aficionados Gifts

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'Tasty bird.'

A classic example of Poultry in Motion.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken replies: 'I'm free-range pal, I can go where I like.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

The poultry mania - Cochin China Fowls

The Colonel at home.

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

Fee Range Chickens

'I've got laryngitis. Would you mind cackling for me while I lay an egg?'

'Ok, you wanted to go free range. . . what now?'