Paranoid Emailer Gifts

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

The Eternal Question

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Mary had a little spam

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

Spam Folders

'Have we found a scandal in here?'

"Look, it's just a cold. . . ok?. . . It is not, I repeat, not! The Coronavirus."

"All our devices are talking to each other - about me."

"...And never take candy from strangers -- They might be spies!"

"Mmm, Spam."

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

'Your call is important to us. Santa no longer accepts letters. Please email all requests to: letters@santa.com please state whether you've been good or bad. . .'

"Skin cancer. . . terrorism, I'm not taking any chances!"

'When you've found some change for the gas meter have a look a this email you got from some bloke in Africa asking you to safeguard 13 million dollars...'

This is a very friendly email program. It dots the i's and crosses the t's with mustaches.

Web (In)Security

'Any collateral other than this letter from a Nigerian banker's widow?'

"Oh...here comes the response from the complaints department!"

'I am the 'man with no name', and also the 'man with no e-mail address'.'

"I know you're anxious about the sun but he really will be OK with factor 50."

'Oh, stop fretting! No hacker wants to tap into your PC!'

"No thanks, just browsing."