Comedy Email Dispatcher Gifts

Spam Folders

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

My Spam Sketchbook

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

'He's our Spam expert!'

Stamps - 'I'll always stick with you.' 'me too...like glue.'

"Dog house"

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

"He's been carrying out cyber attacks."

'Your call is important to us. Santa no longer accepts letters. Please email all requests to: letters@santa.com please state whether you've been good or bad. . .'

"Mmm, Spam."

'When you've found some change for the gas meter have a look a this email you got from some bloke in Africa asking you to safeguard 13 million dollars...'

"The subject on the e-mail is 'Woof" any idea who it's from?"

"Sir, Hagstrom is craving some attention again. Shall we email him the canteen menu and mark it 'URGENT'?"

Now the postal strike's off I'm delivering your backlog of junk mail.

This is a very friendly email program. It dots the i's and crosses the t's with mustaches.

Web (In)Security

'Any collateral other than this letter from a Nigerian banker's widow?'

"It's about time we said hello to reply all."

Beware of the Dog.

Hi, I need assistance in transferring $20 million from a Nigerian bankn. Careful, Ernie, that's a phishing star.

'I am the 'man with no name', and also the 'man with no e-mail address'.'

Please help your postal service! By delivering the mail, next 375 miles, ask at your Yompville PO.

"Nothing, but bills and an unsolicited manuscript from your mother."

"Typical mail - four bills, two catalogs, and a pre-approved credit card for the dog."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Hello handsome Sadie, It's Timona here greeting you from Kiev, Ukraine. Yeah we are in great political turmoil right now, but I will let you in on a secret since we are old friends. Now is the best time for to invest in the Ukraine real estate. In 2005, for inspect, a 71 sq. meter abode sold for $7,500 US Dollars. Today it sell for at only $1,100 US Dollars. Lovely school for to nearby, as well as char

'No back-log for us to clear tomorrow.'

US Post Office, Walk Ins Welcome.

"This is your mother? She looks like a *&**&^%$?%^& to me! Awwwk! Awwwk!" "I bought him from an email ad...they said if I didn't I would have seven years bad luck."

Colonel Gaddafi has been reported to be attempting to transfer billions of pounds worth of assets from Libya

'You better tell the sender not to pay just half the postage!'

"I think it's rude of me to email you 200 unrequested jokes per day. I should be sending 500. I'll get right on that."