Paranoia Theme Fan Pillows

"Yeah...I'm looking at you. See how you like it."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Charming, absolutely charming."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Vampire Day Job - Hypnotherapist

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

Haunted museum

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

'Vlad, I know it's not your fault that you don't have a reflection but...'

Yuri Geller as a 7 year old.

"Everyone say 'Hot Ghoul Summer!'"

Snake charmer hypnotizes aliens in flying saucer

Nap time!

"Ghosts? I haven't seen a ghost here for 3000 years!"

Quiet Night

"Humans! I told you to abduct humans...NOT mosquitoes!"

A Ghost

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

'And what makes you think you'll be good at planning ahead?'

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

"I've just had the most horrible dream!"

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

'Do you believe in humans?'