Paranoia Theme Fan T-Shirts

"Yeah...I'm looking at you. See how you like it."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'There's an imposter among us!'

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Vampire Day Job - Hypnotherapist

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

Haunted museum

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"Everyone say 'Hot Ghoul Summer!'"

Yuri Geller as a 7 year old.

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

'Vlad, I know it's not your fault that you don't have a reflection but...'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

Snake charmer hypnotizes aliens in flying saucer

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"Ghosts? I haven't seen a ghost here for 3000 years!"

Nap time!

Quiet Night

A Ghost

"Humans! I told you to abduct humans...NOT mosquitoes!"

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

'And what makes you think you'll be good at planning ahead?'

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

Scary Movies!