Paragraph Prowlers Gifts

Readaholics Anonymous

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'White meat or dark?'

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

Lost dog/Lost Sheep posters

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"What the...a swarm of Christmas air-mail parcels?! Pull her up, Larry! Pull her up!!"

Hunter shooting @ symbols.

"How's that for your 'corporate response?'"

The Bikings

'There you go - I told you to watch out for that big portal in the middle of the road!'

"That's the problem. All the good ones have been eaten."

"You awake?"

"Listen. I've got to be honest here. I'm not actually a proper pigeon."

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

"I don't think your newfound fear of skiing is irrational."

'Look, no matter what happens, if anybody asks, I was here with you the whole night.'

"This internet forum ain't big enough fer the two of us."

TV Screen Portal

"Listen mate - don't mess me about! Did you, or did you not, 10 years ago, adopt a mountain lion cub. . .??"

Reader's Block

I'm an actual troll and even I'm afraid to post on social media these days!

"Wouldn't it be great if we could do this anonymously online?"

"Well, if that's your only concern, I suggest you simply make an offer conditional upon the removal of all monsters."

'Cocky lil' son-of-a-gun!'

"Don't open that, man. It's just rude to open someone else's mail. Seriously dude."