Paradise Philosopher T-Shirts

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"Would it still be considered a weekend getaway if we never go back?"

"How do you know if you're really in love, Randy?"

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Doggie Heaven

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

Self Service Island

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

Not so heavenly

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise with lots of shops.'

"Wow! I guess you CAN 'take it with you', after all!"

Employees Only Door in Heaven.

"Not only are we new here, I understand the whole place didn't exist a few days ago."