Paradise Perpetual Gifts

'It's okay. I can telecommute.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Golfing Bishop.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

Give Way To Cyclists

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

Self Service Island

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Not so heavenly

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I've decided to keep making them!"

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Wow! I guess you CAN 'take it with you', after all!"

Employees Only Door in Heaven.

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

"Eighty percent polyester."

"Not only are we new here, I understand the whole place didn't exist a few days ago."