Paradise Protector Gifts

Bottle bank

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Deforestation.

North Pole

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

The Environmentalist

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Nature versus commerce.

Natural Disasters

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

"I love you too, big guy."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Child protects planet with umbrella.

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

"Good riddance! They were messing up the environment."

Climate Crisis

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

Just Stop Boil

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

Now I'm starting to get a little worried about this global warming thing.

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Global Warmer 2000.