Paperwork Conqueror Gifts

"My to-do list is somewhere on there."

"The health and safety people are worried about 'stress' and 'work life balance'. Have some ideas on my desk first thing Monday!"

'You want a building permit, do you?- What makes you so special?'

'Boss, I DID seize the day, but it wouldn't hold still.'

"And you sign here..here...and here.."

"When you said you were going climbing, I thought you meant on rocks, not paperwork."

"That's what I like about Peterson, he doesn't let a little illness keep him off the job."

"Have a good weekend!"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

'He's a whiz at everything he does. I suspect he may be on some performance enhancing drugs!'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

"If you work hard and put in the hours, there's nowhere to go but up."

In, Out, Out Out trays.

"Welcome back from your vacation, Mr. Indispensable!"

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

"I'm bearly keeping ahead."

When paperwork attacks.

"Sure, I can talk. My desk is totally cleared off."

"Was I too naive and trusting when I agreed to work over the weekend?"

"Congratulations, your funding request for the field trip has been approved."

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

Stress and Relief Desk Organizers.

'Getting money from insurance companies is sometimes harder than performing brain surgery.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'Your wife called to remind you that she still exists.'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

'Life, work. I'm doing my best to keep the two apart.'

Gall.Com: 'mitigated...inmiligated'

Investment company offers free paper shredder.

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

If I had sleeves, I'd roll them up...

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'