Paperweight Collector T-Shirts

Stress and Relief Inbox

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

Before social media there was sticky notes.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Utility Chic.

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Beer Sergeant.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'