Paper Product Punster Gifts

'Boss, we've got a quality problem. I know that because I just shook hands with some of our customers...'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Here and There Trays

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Dogs life

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

Dog Walker

Pet Cemetery.

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"It's hard for me to do my job remotely when you keep eating all of my home work."

"Actually, no, Bill, I can't move faster than this pace. Sorry."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

NeighWoof.

"Mr. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

"Which of you knows how to operate the paper shredder?"

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

Dive in Archive.

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'Tax man practical joker sticks sign on colleague's back which reads; Tax me.'

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."