Postal Punster Gifts

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Beware of the God

A parcel of postmen

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'Is there any way you can deliver everything to my e-mail account for now on?'

'You want to insure it? — Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"Wow, is it Christmas already?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

Pet Cemetery.

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Mystery of the Poets

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

2B or not 2B

"I'd like a 'change of address' card."

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"Norman is an island."

Licker Store

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.