Paper Procrastinator Pillows

"I'm really sorry for missing the deadline to hand in my paper, Professor... the essay mill was late!"

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Serious Putty

"File!"

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

Good luck in your A Levels.

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

Studying and technology

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

Al, The Go-From Guy

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'