Paper Preservationist Gifts

'It's mine and you can't have it.' Morris was finding it more difficult than most to adjust to the concept of a 'paperless' office.'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Endangered Species: Belgian Ostrich.

Newspaper suicide.

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"Gunther's years ahead of his time."

"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

It's a big misconception. Everyone thinks hell is all fire. Actually, it's all paperwork.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'There's not use-by date on honey: It pretty much lasts forever...'

'He just had a near-work experience.'

Each of you attending this climate conference will receive a copy of my 9,000-page study on how e-mail has saved millions of trees.

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

You were warned about mixed marriages!

"Oh, him? He's BORED CERTIFIED."

Nancy had written more pages, but Andrew had stacked his more neatly.

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail, 'Ah, I feel so alive. That was fun'

"Okay Mr. Jones, there are one or two little forms to fill in before we can discharge you."

"Doesn't it worry you being such a philistine?"

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'