Historic Preservationist Gifts

'Because of the picturesque nature of your house, the government would like to list it...one of you will have to sit on the porch at all times.'ou

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

'Forget what?'

Newspaper suicide.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

"Gunther's years ahead of his time."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

Pasadena Playhouse War

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Scot country dancing,

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Building in the countryside

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

You were warned about mixed marriages!

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

Soldier in medieval battle says: 'Oi, take it easy! This is an English Heritage site.'

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"Doesn't it worry you being such a philistine?"