Historic Preservationist Gifts

'Because of the picturesque nature of your house, the government would like to list it...one of you will have to sit on the porch at all times.'ou

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

'Forget what?'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

Newspaper suicide.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Scot country dancing,

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

Building in the countryside

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

You were warned about mixed marriages!

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'