Paper Delivery Pillows

'Sixty percent of my income is from newspaper delivery, 20% from odd jobs, and 20% from allowance.'

LAY ZEE FUK

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Food deliverer's baby.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Grrrr....'

Sisyphus Pizza

"Anything for me?"

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

Paper Trail

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"There's the mailman!"

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

"Careful it's hot." (Colour)

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"Do you have experience delivering anything other than eggs?"

"I would've gotten here earlier but I went on my lunch break during the drive."