Paper Collector Gifts

"Actually, we're worth a fortune but it's mostly on papyrus."

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

Cartoonists.

Ed had got the principle of recycling all wrong.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Make a lot of money."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Thank you bubbles

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Bearded Leftie.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Before social media there was sticky notes.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

Card shark

Horace Greeley's Storm Battered Coat and Hat

"I wonder what this was for."

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"