Paper Chaos Aficionado Gifts

Speech - no, he's going to ask his boss for a rise.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'Welcome aboard, Peterson.'

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

"I have a system."

'911!'

'The cat did it.'

Paint fight art!

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dog ate my parents' marijuana, and then ate my homework."

'No, you can't have my old file cabinet. I'm using it as a paper-weight for all the stuff I'm too lazy to file!'

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

'We're looking to expand our globalization into countries that don't extradite.'

'Surprise!'

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

Bureaucracy in Food Production

"Inspiration"

'Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.'

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

Stories to Keep You Up At Night

"The trouble with teaching music is everyone is dancing to a different tune."

'It looks like Barracuda Construction is attempting a hostile takeover.'

Children and cat crashing on cart

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Aaahhhh. I love opening air mail envelopes.'

"Mom! Jonah's engaging in nation-building again!"