Panhandler Gifts

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

On vacation. Please put money in hat.

Fragile stamper.

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

The History of Anti-stick

'If nothing sticks to Teflon, how come Teflon sticks to the pan?'

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

"Let's try real hard this year to sell old Jumbo!"

Guitar emergency.

Broken artefact in the museum

"You know the rule. You catch it you unhook it."

'It was a great holiday: It rained all day, every day...'

Gravedigger

"Come in six, your numbers up!"

A new acquaintance will keep you in stitches!

Palanquin Toilet Break

Chef walking out

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

Treasonable footman.

'Juggling is great fun: You should try it...'

'Roger, have you been putting on weight?'

Stress management Clinic: 'Sorry, closed due to burnout.'

Undertakers

Chef trying to coax a chicken into a pan.

A customer in a bank sees a sign reading, "Tipping Permitted", beside a teller's window.

Football

'It needs to be wider.' 'Ah ha! The plot thickens.'

"He sold appliances."

"I believe it was an industrial accident."

Sign over washroom sink: All Employees: Wash your hands, wipe that stupid grin off your face.