Panhandler Gifts

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

On vacation. Please put money in hat.

Fragile stamper.

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

The History of Anti-stick

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

Broken artefact in the museum

Guitar emergency.

"Let's try real hard this year to sell old Jumbo!"

"You know the rule. You catch it you unhook it."

'It was a great holiday: It rained all day, every day...'

Gravedigger

"Come in six, your numbers up!"

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

Chef walking out

A new acquaintance will keep you in stitches!

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'Juggling is great fun: You should try it...'

Treasonable footman.

'Roger, have you been putting on weight?'

Stress management Clinic: 'Sorry, closed due to burnout.'

Football

A customer in a bank sees a sign reading, "Tipping Permitted", beside a teller's window.

Chef trying to coax a chicken into a pan.

Undertakers

'It needs to be wider.' 'Ah ha! The plot thickens.'

"He sold appliances."

Sign over washroom sink: All Employees: Wash your hands, wipe that stupid grin off your face.

Interrogating a foodie

Bottomless Casket.