Panhandling Gifts

Guitar emergency.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Jack of all trades

Local Knowledge

'You lifted your head.'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

Ice fisher.

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"River well stocked this year."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

Hacking through ice in order to fish

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Man fishing with large bait

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Reverse psychology

Couple of Pikeys.

'I can't figure out why I keep getting wind knots.'

Fishing from the Pier

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

"Touché"

Man to other about fish on wall: Heh - I use that size fish for bait!'

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Fly fishing.