Palmistry Connoisseur Gifts

'Worn out palms. . .you are a total w****r for the rest of your life.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'See you in two weeks!'

Pie Filling Reader

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

'You've got dry scalp.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'That line means good managerial skills!'

Palm Reading

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

"You like people and people respond to that."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

Yes Man Is An Island: "Yes! Okay! Yea! No Problem! Absolutely!"

"I can't read anything right now. We have to wait a bit: Your palm is all wrinkled..."