Palmist Gifts

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

'This is Tabitha. If you're good, she'll read your palm and tell your fortune.'

'If you pay for two palm readings, you get the third one free.'

"And you see this line here?. . . I don't know what that means either."

A prediction.

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Let me see your lifelines!'

Madam Zara Knows All - Sorry, NO Homework

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Forget crossing my palm with silver... I'll accept notes!'

'What do I get for £1?'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'She's such a know-it-all.'

'I see a tall dark hunter-gatherer, on 5,000 acorns a year.'

Madame Yompe, Palm Reader...Special! Both palms read for the price of one.

'I see a long ocean voyage in your future....'

Fortune Teller no longer reads palms; needs Google history print-out.

"It says 'made in Hong Kong'"

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Asking out a palm reader.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Pie Filling Reader

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Paw readings

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'