Paleolithic Appreciator Gifts

"When did constantly making pictures of food become a thing."

Caveman - petroglyph

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Hadrian's Wall

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Pandora's Change Purse...

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Cavemen Exhibit

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

"Oog creates fire and all you can come up with is that silly round thing!"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

An Ant's nest in the form of a Pyramid

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

Museum.

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

"Maybe it needs a caption."

"Frankly, I don't like the way things are going."

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

He has died...but is he really, really, really dead?

'It's taken me time to adjust to the different management style here.'

Scary things in the museum

Archeology Dept. Storage. Ernie, this box should be labeled "unidentified pottery fragments," not "pots unknown."

"I'm just posting something to my wall."

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

'You know, I'm appreciating having long arms more and more as I get older,,,'

'That's not funny, Fred.'

'It's hard to look intimidating with this feather thing going on.'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

'I suppose that nowadays anything can be considered art.'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.