Palate Pioneer T-Shirts

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

Pizza Carried Off On A Stick Like A Wild Animal

Spaghetto

"I'll have the chef."

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

Chef using an electric train to roll pastry.

"Oh, I see the problem – you brought impassable burgers."

'This restuarant has really gone downhill. Remember when you used to get a Wet-Nap with your meal?'

'I just saw this fall out of a chicken's bum...let's eat it!'

"An interesting blend. . . notes of dry corn and overtones of dandelion leaf. . . essences of barley. . . a playful cabbage beetle finish."

"You'll like this place. The food is eclectic without being schizophrenic."

"They said that creating an alphabet soup was a bad idea, but I will make them eat their words."

"I think this is a red."

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

"The shell tastes good, but that gooey stuff inside is terrible."

'So there's a little grit and some pebbles in your stew -- this is the Stone Age, you kow!'

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

"We may not have fully thought this through."

"I always buy American ... except with Indian food, where I buy Indian."

"Caught nothing today... what are we going to eat?"

"It sounds as though Ted has finally done it – the eggless omelette."

"I know! Let's drink its milk!"

The Pope cooking some popadoms for Popes

Two Amateur Artists At Dinner

Naming the Chickow meat. Cheef. Bicken. Beeficken??

"Ogg is cooking tonight...and it looks like he just discovered microwaves!"

I asked a lady if she wanted to grab a kale smoothie with me. She totally ignored me. Of course she did. Very few ladies are interested in a guy who latches on to the latest fads. It suggests you've got a roving eye, and you'll leave her for someone new later on. Most women like a man who's "classic." Solid. Reliable. Unmoved by the ever-changing winds. That's why I eat nothing but nuts, berries and hippos. If it was good enough for the cavemen, it's good enough for me. I thought cavemen ate bro