Palace Enthusiast Pillows

the guard

Magestically Marble Hill

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"She wishes to range free!"

"He's a guard dog."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"