Palace Enthusiast Gifts

the guard

Magestically Marble Hill

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'I screwed up royally!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'