Painting Skeptic Gifts

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"My method of painting is pointillism."

A Christmas tree self portrait

Hazards of mouse painting

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

Little girl imitating a painting in an art gallery

Eugene Delacroix

A Night In the Art Gallery

Alberto Giacometti.

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

"The last doggy bag."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'You never smile at me like that!'

'It was one of the great notes and was played by Beethoven and Lennon.'

Man: 'Hey WOW, it's true! Her eyes DO follow you around the room!'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Artist painting a dancer.

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'