Painting Pundit Gifts

The place is full of dealers.

"Binaldi, Ravaccio, Dellacorte... and that's just the frames."

What's the key to being a great artist, Al? Is it the beret? Don't be silly, Axel. It's the smock.

"They're so realistic."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

'Why is it always about me?'

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'We finally do have meaningful tax reform, sir. This year's form is printed on recycled paper.'

Editor. Short. Sweet.

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

Trays 'IN' 'OUT' and 'Don't ask'

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

Wussapalooka

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

"Is this 'pollocks'."

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"As a cost-cutting measure, for our fall list we have decided to bypass traditional bookstore sales and subsequent remaindering, and instead go directly to the shredder."

Siegfried Sassoon

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

Nostalgia: 'In one era..out the other'

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."