Painting Appreciation Gifts

Tilted painting

"Can't you forget you once found sixpence?"

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Victor Hugo

Diner.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Mikado

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Cat statues on entrance gate

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

A Macaroni in 1772

'Projectile painting.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Happy thoughts

Creation of Red Wine

"Now this I get."

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

You're my Venus