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Artists of the wild west.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

"Skate or die."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Only one of us can be 'The Funny One'."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

A Christmas tree self portrait

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Hazards of mouse painting

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

Eugene Delacroix

Alberto Giacometti.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Sawrd Fighting

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

'You never smile at me like that!'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

Artist painting a dancer.